LBK (AKA Long Board Kid) the Face of Amarillo Ramp

We highly doubt Ludwig Baron Koons is his name but we'll settle for believing in Long Board Kid. We already were well informed on the character that would be touring us around the Marsh property and eventually taking us to Amarillo Ramp. LBK has perfected his performance as another mythic creature of Marsh's "Neverland." We knew his routine consisted of fear inducing drives, gleeful cheers, and a prankster attitude. We came prepared. Our performances on this day were as much for LBK as they were about the Amarillo Ramp. Nancy, decked out in fringe, fake eyelashes, high heels, and hair as big as Texas, sported a horse on a stick that when pressing on the ears made galloping sounds and ended with a neigh. Jacinda wore a red and white checked shirt, gold rimed sunglasses, and sideburns made of moustaches.

LBK was quite surprised, asking if we always dressed like this? Jacinda replied, "Just for today" and he followed with, "What did you wear at the other earthworks?" Jacinda answered, "A pink prom dress at Spiral Jetty." LBK then told us of his high school prom that he was thrown out of for showing up in a yellow prom dress with his girlfriend in pink; the reason being, not that he was in a dress, but that the theme for the dance was black and white. He told us that he wished he had worn an outfit after seeing ours and then proceeded to compensate the rest of the afternoon picking up additional props all along the tour: blond styrofoam hair, a BB gun, Polaroid cameras (batteries dead/no film), and a ten dollar pair of cowboy boots he bought at a local thrift store.

He gave us a quick tour of the 12th story of the Chase Tower in downtown Amarillo; a mix between business and a twenty something free for all studio space. Reproductions of famous Abstract Expressionist and Color Field paintings lay propped up against the walls, interspersed with an original Lichtenstein and who knows what else! The state of the Office was vile, years of young artist's leftovers accumulated on the floor; trash, hair, glitter, and ash. We should have brought our cleaning gear. Walking in was like entering an adult toy store, oversized pool balls, a bike propped against the wall, and an inflatable dolphin.

Stanley Marsh owns a fleet of white trucks each painted with a repeating diagonal, colorful stripe, straight from a Wal-Mart house paint roller, slightly chipping away. LBK left the yellow striped truck running in the parking lot while showing us around the 12th floor. This was unfortunate because the gas gauge was already on E by the time we had arrived. We hopped into the pickup expecting the worst as LBK's high pitched glees followed as the speedometer increased. Since Las Vegas, NV we had searched for a mechanical bucking bull ride which turned out to be LBK's driving. We soon learned that rather than picking up his license this morning, he took a nap instead. He blurted this out as we sped by two cop cars going 60 MPH in a 35.




LBK Unedited (and his Nancy holding onto a BB Gun in the back seat)



We planned on finding a mechanical bull at some point this trip but LBK's driving proved to be even scarier. Here we are speeding over a dip in the road filled with water - Nancy's ultimate fear especially at 60 MPH on a dirt road.



Nancy's response to LBK's driving.



LBK protecting us by shooting "tranquilizers at the bears" with his BB Gun.



Here LBK shows us his moves with the long board back at the 12th Floor Office.



LBK demonstrates more moves in the $10 boots he purchased when we stopped to take a photograph of Santa at a thrift store.



The "chicken wing" OR Nancy's and my response to LBK's behavior that we should have captured on video but missed.



LBK gets a big ol' kiss good-bye.



JR's Ode to LBK (he followed any dirty conversation with the last gesture).

Our first stop was Toad Hall, Stanley Marsh's home. It is an interesting combination of petting zoo (miniature horses, a zebra/donkey, llama, and peacocks) and skinny dipping ponds that open at 5 p.m. due to the grandchildren living in the house overlooking the water. We investigated the shed that stored the car from Ant Farm's recreation of JFK's assassination and the sign grave yard (one of Marsh's public work projects that he hired young artists to create.)

LBK was caught off guard during his typical presentation three times with: the discovery that Nancy's horse neighed and galloped, Jacinda was wearing sideburns, and he nearly fell to his knees laughing when Nancy jumped in the front seat to drive the car through the locked gate LBK had to open but instead applied a fresh coat of lipstick.

On the way to the Ramp, LBK revealed to Jacinda that he discovered Robert Smithson's journal that apparently was in the airplane that Smithson was riding in when he died. Jacinda instantly knew this was one hell of a lie, as Smithson died in 1973 and LBK was probably born in the 1980s, which meant that journal survived unscathed for thirty years. HA!

LBK spent much of the time on the phone revealing that we were wearing "costumes" to all his friends. He even called up Marsh to tell him of our appearances, before informing him that the low fuel sign was on twenty miles from our destination, followed by asking how he should get gas. The solution would be to switch the yellow striped truck for the red one at the Marsh house. It, too, was almost on empty and had a pair of long johns and a six inch layer of trash in the back and front seat, but provided us a guarantee for getting back to our car. It was unfortunate that we could not take the pink Cadillac convertible that Marsh only had the keys for.

LBK... this entry is for you. Thanks for the great ride and a day that we will never forget!